Week 3: Observing Communication

On a snowy afternoon, I decided to go to the community grocery store to pick up a few delicious snacks for the next episode of Honey Boo Boo. A young mother and her son were walking around the store and the boy was crying aloud. The mother stops and yells “I’m not buying you that truck….it costs too much money….shut up.” The boy was about 3 years old and she snatches him by the arm out of anger. “Come on….let’s go…right now,” she said as she continued to walk with her hands pulling tightly on his clothing. Then the little boy falls to the floor pouting and refusing to get up. The mother continues yelling and everyone is turning around looking at her because she seems to be overwhelmed and losing control in the situation. The mother looks to another woman and says “These children just get on my nerves” and pulls the boy by one arm. All I could think about was the pain this boy was feeling in his shoulder as he is being pulled.

As I observed this interaction between the mother and child, I can understand that most moms get overwhelmed when there seems to be a battle between letting a child have his way and being able to peacefully grocery shop for necessary items. However, it was very unnecessary to be yelling and snatching the child around. I learned that using patience and a firm/respectful voice are important strategies for communicating with children. I also reflected on the fact that parents are the child’s first teachers and the language we use does have an effect on the child’s thinking. Our choice of words is important….Consider the power of a hurtful word (Dangei & Durden, 2010, p. 81).

As a single woman with no children, I found the situation a bit challenging to deal with. It’s easy to look and judge others when events are not happening to some of us. However, screaming your lungs out is not the solution. To make the connection more affirming and effective, the mother could have done several things to improve the situation. She could have ignored the child’s demanding. She should have explained to the child that the behavior was unacceptable and that if the behavior continued, he would be removed from the store. The mother could also take the child to a private location to get away from staring eyes and allow the child to get his screaming and kicking out of his system.

I think it’s essential for all adults to exercise patience, speaking in a language that is respectful of children and learning the process of stepping back to listen to children. Stepping back means not only slowing down and really listening, but also consciously shifting your mind from the immediacy of the conversation to consider it from other perspectives (Stephenson, 2009, p. 90).

References

Rainer Dangei, J., & Durden, T. R. (2010). The nature of teacher talk during small group activities. YC: Young Children, 65(1), 74-81.

Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-Year-Old. YC: Young Children, 64(2), 90-95.