Week 5: Conflict Resolution
I remember having a disagreement with my niece about
her using the computer and cell phone for several hours each day. She looked at
me and yelled “I need more freedom….I’m 13 years old….I feel like I can’t do
anything anymore!” I became impatient and walked away because I wanted to avoid
having any kind of screaming match. Studying this course content and
information related to conflict resolution has provided relief and more
opportunities to successfully resolve conflicts with others in and outside of
the classroom. I will now use a different approach when handling the same
disagreement with my niece. I would be
more patient by listening to and accepting her perspective of feeling bored
and wanting to do more things. Both of
us could compromise by allowing her to use the phone and computer for 1 to 2 hours per day. I
understand that she has a social life and should be allowed to socialize with
her friends. She should understand that I am concerned about who she is communicating
with and for how long. She also has to understand the dangers that are present
on the internet and phone chat lines. We have agreed that 1 hour of computer
use will be devoted to studying while the 2nd hour will be used for hanging
out with friends. Any further advice from my colleagues is welcome and
appreciated!
Hi Tiffiney,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job in this situation. An hour for studies, and an hour for recreation is very reasonable. Handling teens is SCARY, I have 2 teen nieces and I am scared to death for them. Society is 10 times worst then it was when I was 13 and 14, so we must take extra precautions and enforce guidelines to protect them.
Bumping heads with teens, is expected and nothing to worry about. In fact I would be more worried if I did not bump heads with my nieces..LBVS!!!!
Tiffiney,
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as a parent of two teen girls you will simply have to let your neice know what your rules and expectations are. My daughter can use the computer but is not aloud on any social media sites aside from gaggle which is monitored by her school. All her downloads on the ipod have perental controls and when I activated the device I put in her real birthday so the device knows she is to young for facebook and other social media sites.
My best advise is don't argue your house your rules. Put the computer in a well trafficed public spot in the house, so that privacy is gone, put parental controls on the computer so that you can monitor what websites she is using. Don't be afraid to check the history regularly and ask tons of questions. Your neice will complain but she will be grateful and more likely to come to you if a online problem arises simple because you showed an interst in what she was doing.
My children are only 7 and 4. I don't worry as much about my 7 year old (boy). My four year old already scares me at how grown up she is trying to be. I worry very much about the future and her need for independence. I think you did a great job on compromising. I am sure that, like most of us, she will appreciate your concern..
ReplyDeleteTiffiney,
ReplyDeleteI can understand how you want to help your niece. I have three who are older and they still think the world revolves around them. She does not need a cell phone at that age. If she needs to make a call use the house phone. I guess I am old fashion, but we did not have them back in the day, and I had just as many friends. Besides we did not sit around on the computer or the phone we were outside playing or at the skating rink or visiting each other. Just my thoughts. Hang in there. Remember you are the adult and she is the child.
Sandra